And learning how to deal with it.
Being alone can be a scary thing. But it doesn’t always have to be. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a sense of independence engrained within me that has fueled my life. It inspires me to pursue things for myself and set up a life where I can be on my own. While it mostly comes naturally for me, I know that being independent isn’t necessarily easy. And there is a fear in being alone that I’ll always have.
Alone can take on a lot of different meanings. Alone is in physically alone, but also feeling mentally on your own. And getting over the roadblock of needing to have someone else involved is one of the most difficult things to face. It’s especially hard after getting used to doing things with someone. It’s a healing process that takes time, patience, and grace for yourself.
So how can you learn to be comfortable in your own presence?
Something that I think really helps is starting small. Actually getting out and doing something alone is a great way to start. It could be something as simple as grabbing a coffee on your own. You don’t have to stay and hang out at the coffee shop for hours on end by any means, but it’s a step in the direction of being okay on your own.
Getting into nature is another great way to find peace with yourself. Put your phone on do not disturb and just enjoy the outdoors. Doing this allows you to think whatever you want and process those thoughts. There’s a scientific reason that being outdoors can make you feel happy, too. According to Mental Health America, the color green can bring balance, serenity, and joy. Green in nature is bound to enhance your mood.
The steps to comfortability are going to differ for everyone, but first focusing first on self-care will set you up for success. Use your alone time to do things that make you feel good, such as having a cup of hot chocolate and doing a face mask. While it sounds small, you’re still taking actions that feed into self-care, which will in turn enhance your time.
Next, try to stay off your phone for awhile. You don’t have to shut your phone off entirely and ignore the world, but I find that keeping my phone on DnD allows me to shift my focus to myself. It also allows your brain a break from blue light, which can help reduce stress levels. Social media is a perfect place to compare yourself to others, so give yourself some time away for it. It will still be there even if you’re not on it.
Lastly, allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable is truly the only way to become okay with being alone. That doesn’t mean you won’t ever experience loneliness again, but rather that you acknowledge that you’re allowed to feel that way and now have to tools to work through it. We’re human. Of course we’re going to have our ups and downs and it’s definitely not healthy to completely ignore what you’re feeling. It’s not a sign of weakness that you feel the way you do, it’s a sign of strength that you’re aware of it.
What are your best practices for spending some time with yourself? Let me know!
Great article Cassie@