Being alone doesn’t always mean being lonely. I’ve navigated this concept throughout my entire college journey, and with just one year left, I’ve finally uncovered the powerful difference between solitude and loneliness.

The Key Difference Between Being Alone and Being Lonely

Being alone is simply a physical state, you’re by yourself. Loneliness, however, is an emotional state. You can feel lonely in a crowded room if no one truly sees you. It’s the pain of invisibility, the sense that your thoughts, voice, or presence aren’t being acknowledged.

Think about a time you were speaking in a group, only to be interrupted and ignored. It stings, right? But when someone circles back and says “Wait, what were you going to say?”  that moment of being seen and valued is everything.

Why Community Matters

Human connection is foundational. When we feel disconnected, it’s easy to lose our sense of purpose. Loneliness isn’t just being alone, it’s the belief that no one is genuinely in your corner. Even when people say they’re “there for you,” if their actions don’t follow through, that emotional gap grows.

While being alone doesn’t automatically lead to loneliness, when the two align, the emotional impact can feel overwhelming.

Choosing Your People Wisely

Growing up, my parents reminded me to be picky with close friends. Be friendly with everyone, but reserve your vulnerable, raw self for a trusted few. This approach protects your heart, but it can also feel isolating. When trust is broken, it’s easy to retreat further inward.

Having even one person who sees you, encourages you, and brings joy into your alone time can help ease the weight of loneliness. But what if that person isn’t there right now?

Here’s What You Can Do to Beat Loneliness:

1. Become Your Own Best Friend

Okay, maybe that sounds cheesy, but hear me out. You’re going to spend a lot of time with yourself, so make it worthwhile. Learn what lights you up, what calms you down, and what helps you thrive. When you enjoy your own company, validation from others becomes a bonus, not a requirement.

2. Stop Comparing Your Hard to Others’ Highlight Reels

Not all relationships are as healthy or happy as they look. Social media is curated. Just because someone looks like they have it all together doesn’t mean their friendships are genuine or fulfilling. Comparison steals joy and plants seeds of doubt that aren’t rooted in truth.

3. Use Alone Time to Grow

Solitude gives space for reflection, but be mindful. Too much time in your head can spiral into sadness. Instead, let that time become an opportunity to explore your feelings, challenge false beliefs, and focus on personal growth. Lean into what’s true, and let go of and learn from what isn’t serving you

Sarah’s notes: 

Alright here where it gets tough… There is one more thing I haven’t covered yet. 

Loneliness after loss. This is a WHOLE different ball park. 

So let’s get into it. 

What happens when someone is taken away from you against your wishes? When a loved one passes away or is relocated in a way that you are unable to reach out and be in their presence? 

In my experience, Loneliness + Grief = An indescribable pain 

When we lose a part of ourselves in human form not only are we lonely but we can also feel broken, like we are missing a part of who we are. Here is the truth, no matter how many books you read, people you love, podcasts you listen to or even how much therapy you attend there is no right way to heal from this pain. Everyone grieves differently, and not everyone heals from the losses they face. 

But it is important to reach towards healing instead of shoving it down and holding on to it. 

But how do we make this weight lighter? 

Find your light. Just like healing is different for each individual, so is the light. For some it may be a community of people to talk to, a new/old hobby, reconnecting with nature, journaling thoughts, self care and many many more things that can get people to see life in a different way. 

But for me, my light in the darkness is God. My faith and trust in the Lord has brought me out of so much more than I could ever even imagine and I am only 20 years old. To put my brokenness and pain into the God who KEEPS HIS PROMISES and delivers everything I need when I need it is the purest form of joy I could ever receive. And I am not saying God solved all my problems… no way. But I am saying that I learned and grew from the trials He walked with me through.  He brought me a hope of a better tomorrow regardless of my current circumstances. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 

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