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The Myth of “Instant Belonging”

When you start college, it’s easy to expect that you’ll instantly find your people. Maybe some do, but for most of us, it takes time. The first few weeks are full of introductions, quick conversations, and surface-level connections. Give yourself the grace to take your time.

For me, I didn’t find my people until much later in my college journey. It happened unexpectedly through a group project that turned into lunch together, then study sessions, and eventually real friendship. It reminded me that belonging often grows quietly, not instantly.

Finding Belonging Without Changing Yourself

It’s easy to feel like you have to change parts of yourself to fit in, maybe by hiding what you really care about or agreeing with things you don’t believe. But real belonging doesn’t require you to shrink yourself. The right people won’t ask you to be someone else; they’ll appreciate exactly who you are and encourage you to grow into an even better version of yourself.

4 Ways to Find Your Circle on Campus

• Join clubs that excite you: Look for spaces that match your passions and interests. It’s one of the easiest ways to meet people who share your energy.
• Show up consistently, even when it feels awkward: Friendships form through repetition. Go to that meeting, lunch, or event even on days when you don’t feel like it.
• Start conversations in unexpected places: Ask to sit with someone new in the dining hall or strike up a chat with a classmate. You never know what connection could form from a simple “Hey, can I sit here?”
• Create the community you wish existed: If you can’t find a space that fits you, make one. Chances are, others are looking for the same thing.
• Be patient with the process: Strong friendships take time to grow. Give yourself room to build those connections naturally.

Conclusion

Belonging looks different for everyone, and everyone’s timeline is different. If you haven’t found your people yet, push yourself outside of you comfort zone and try some of the tips mentioned above. Be patient and remember that finding your people isn’t about fitting in, it’s about finding where you can finally breathe easy and be you.

Want More Advice?

Read my other blog posts, 10 College Tips For First Generation Students and How To Budget In College.

Trying to Find Balance? You’re Not Alone

When was the last time you were rushing to submit an assignment or staying up late to cram for an exam? Yesterday? Last week? You’re not alone. Moments like these don’t mean you’re lazy or bad at managing your time. It just means life is demanding a lot from you right now. Finding balance between school, work, and your personal life isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about knowing when to rest, when to prioritize, and when to simply let go.

The Reality Check: Why Balance Feels Impossible

We’ve all been told to “find a work-life balance,” but few people actually explain what that means or how to achieve it.
At its core, work-life balance is how you divide your time and energy between professional or academic responsibilities and the other things that matter to you; whether that’s hobbies, friends, family, or simply downtime.

The challenge? Society often glorifies long hours and challenging work weeks. We’re told to “work hard while you’re young” so we can enjoy life later. But that mindset can push us to take on too much, work longer hours, and feel guilty for taking breaks.

Over time, this constant pressure takes a toll. Long days, limited rest, and little personal time lead to stress, burnout, and the feeling that you’re falling behind unless you’re always doing something.

The truth is, almost everyone is still trying to figure out balance.

Time Management: Making the Chaos Work for You

So, how can you create more balance in your day-to-day life? Here are a few practical ways to start:

• Identify your non-negotiables: These are the things you can’t skip like classes, work shifts, meals, rest, etc.
• Plan around your energy, not just your time: Notice when you’re most productive and schedule demanding tasks during those hours.
• Time-block your activities: Group similar tasks together (like studying, errands, or downtime) and set reminders in your phone or Google Calendar.
• Give yourself grace: Remember that balance shifts from week to week. What works one week might look completely different the next, and that’s okay.

Progress, Not Perfection

Finding balance isn’t about mastering a perfect routine, it’s about learning to listen to yourself. Once pressure from life starts to weight on you, it’s heavy. When you allow time for rest without guilt, you’ll begin to feel more content with everything you do.

Set aside small moments in your week for things that genuinely recharge you: a nap between classes, a walk after a long day, or a movie night with friends. These aren’t distractions, they’re how you keep going even when life is demanding.

There’s no one-size-fits-all formula for balance. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s simply learning to align your responsibilities with what makes you feel grounded. You deserve to enjoy your time in college and that starts with taking care of yourself, one intentional choice at a time.

Pressure: The Weight You Can’t Always See

Art Williams once said, “I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy — I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” That quote hits differently when you’re carrying what is known as the “backpack of expectations.” There’s a constant pressure that comes with it, the pressure to succeed, make your family proud, and prove that all the sacrifices are worth it.

When you go to college, it’s rarely just for yourself. You’re doing it for your family, your community, and your future. You’re stepping into something unfamiliar, with little to no roadmap, hoping your effort will make life easier for those who come after you. That invisible weight? It’s real. And it’s heavy.

The emotional load of representation

Being the first, or one of few, means you’re paving a path no one in your family has walked before. That alone carries immense pressure: to succeed, to not waste the opportunity, to make it worth it.

It’s rewarding, but it’s also exhausting. You take on student debt, long hours at part-time jobs, endless studying, and the constant pressure to “make it.” For me, I’ve become a role model in my family without even realizing it at first. I showed my siblings that it is possible to go to school, even when the odds are stacked against you. But behind that pride, there’s also fatigue, the kind that doesn’t go away with one good night’s sleep.

Pride and pressure can coexist

You’re allowed to be proud and tired at the same time. You don’t have to pick one.

It’s okay to love where you came from and still feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to be grateful and still wish things were easier. Both can be true, and both are part of your story.

Personally, I’m proud of how far I’ve come, but I didn’t get here without sacrifice. I work two jobs while taking 15 credits. It’s exhausting, but necessary to cover rent, bills, and everything in between. And while the grind can wear me down, I remind myself that exhaustion doesn’t erase pride. They coexist and that’s okay.

Redefining success on your own terms

It’s easy to get caught up in doing things for others: going to college to make your parents proud, staying independent to inspire your siblings, joining organizations to make your friends happy. But true satisfaction doesn’t come from their validation, it comes from yours.

At some point, you have to pause and ask yourself:

• What does success really mean to me?
• How can I honor where I came from without losing who I am?

You’ve worked too hard to live someone else’s definition of success. Be proud of how far you’ve come not just because of what it means for others, but because of what it means for you.

Conclusion

Being “the first” comes with pressure, but what you do with that pressure is what defines you. You can let it crush you, or you can use it to grow stronger.

Breaking cycles is brave. It’s meaningful. But it’s also heavy work. So take care of yourself while you’re doing it. You’re not weak for needing help, rest, or support. If it ever feels like too much, reach out, there are people and resources ready to help carry the load with you.

Because you’re allowed to be proud and tired at the same time. That’s what courage looks like.

When Success Starts to Shift

In high school, success often means earning good grades, joining clubs, and crossing the stage to receive your diploma. Everything you do is supported by familiar faces, your family, teachers, and friends who celebrate your achievements along the way. But when you get to college, that definition starts to shift. The milestones look different, and the sense of validation you once relied on begins to come from within.

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

In college, you’re stepping out of the comfort zone you’ve always known. You don’t get to see your parents every night to share stories about your day, sit in your favorite teacher’s classroom, or hang out with the same friends who’ve known you for years. That familiar bubble of support and routine is gone. Success no longer looks like a proud report card on the fridge, a teacher’s praise, or your friends cheering you on at every milestone. In college, success takes on a new meaning and it’s up to you to define what that looks like.

Redefining What Success Really Means

College is so much more than just showing up to classes, getting good grades, and earning a degree. Real success in college comes from discovering who you are beyond the classroom. A study conducted at San Francisco State University found that students define success in many ways, through their personal growth, their ability to balance academics with life outside of school, their persistence through challenges, and how they apply what they learn to move closer to their professional goals.

The Real Measure of Success

College success looks different and that’s a good thing. In college, achievement isn’t just about earning high grades; it’s about what you gain along the way. You walk away with lasting friendships, real-world knowledge, and the resilience that comes from learning to navigate life on your own.

Leaving home for college can feel exciting but also overwhelming, especially if you’re used to your parents cooking meals, managing money, and taking care of the day-to-day. For my first two years, dorm life and a meal plan made things simple. But once I moved off campus, reality hit and suddenly I had to budget, plan my own meals, and figure out all the little responsibilities that come with living on your own.

Learn To Budget On A Student Income

As a college student, chances are your income from a part-time job (or financial aid) is pretty limited. That’s why keeping track of every dollar matters. A budget doesn’t have to be complicated, a simple tracker can make a huge difference. You can jot it down with pen and paper, set up an online spreadsheet, or even use a pre-made template. Personally, I prefer Google Sheets because it’s free, easy to access, and customizable. Here are a few templates you can start using right away!

Budget-Friendly Groceries and Easy College Meals

With grocery prices climbing, finding quality, affordable meals can feel like a challenge. One strategy that’s helped me is always making a grocery list before I shop. It keeps me focused and prevents impulse buys that quickly blow my budget. I also like to pick one simple recipe I find on TikTok or Instagram, usually meant for a family, and cook it at the start of the week. Eating the leftovers saves me both time and money since I only have to shop for that one meal. Another unexpected way I save is through my weekend restaurant job. Many places offer free or discounted meals to employees, which cuts down my grocery costs even more. I’ll eat during my shift and often bring home leftovers, stretching my budget further.

Managing Everyday Responsibilities as a Student

Another big part of “adulting” is learning how to take care of your own space. Whether you’re in a dorm or an apartment, it’s on you to keep it clean. It’s easy to put it off when school, work, or friends feel more important, but small habits make a big difference. Try setting aside one day a week to do a full tidy-up, or at the very least, pick up before going to bed so things don’t pile up. Along with cleaning comes another responsibility: paying bills on time. The easiest way to stay on top of this is by budgeting so you always know what money is set aside. Setting reminders is also key, I use a wall calendar with bills written in big letters, plus phone alerts for extra backup. These little systems make it much harder to forget a payment.

Growing Up Is Hard, But You’re Stronger Than You Think

Going out on your own and learning how to manage life’s responsibilities is tough, and it’s normal to stumble along the way. You might overwork yourself, slack off too much, splurge on things you don’t need, or stress about every dollar. What matters most is that you keep trying, adjusting, and finding a balance that works for you. Every step you take not only builds a stronger future for yourself, but also sets an example for the people around you. Want more advice? Read my previous post 10 College Tips For First-Gen Students.

Dear Freshman Me: Here Are 10 College Tips I Wish I Knew

Starting college can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re the first in your family to take this path. So what can you expect, and how do you navigate it? Here are 10 college tips I wish I knew as a freshman that may help you along the way.

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1. Say YES To Everything!

The best way to build connections is by participating. Whether that’s a late-night food run, a morning walk, or joining a study group in Rod Library, saying yes helps you avoid isolation and creates meaningful relationships at UNI.

2. Join School Organizations Early!

Take time to settle in, but don’t wait too long to get involved. Join professional clubs in your major, hobby-based groups, or organizations that simply interest you. Getting involved early opens doors to leadership roles, which look great on résumés and help you form lasting connections.

3. Celebrate The “Small” Wins

Did you ace an exam, land a part-time job, or make a new friend? Celebrate it. As a first-generation student, each step forward matters. Recognize your progress and give yourself credit.

4. Ask for Help When You Need It

Professors and advisors want to see you succeed. Take advantage of office hours, review sessions, and campus support services. The sooner you do, the better your experience at UNI will be!

5. Remember You Belong Here

Every choice you’ve made has led you to this point. You earned your spot at UNI, and you deserve to be here. Embrace the uncertainty, show up each day, and trust that you’re on the right path.

6. Don’t Compare Your Journey

Your path may look different from others, and that’s okay. You’re paving a road no one in your family has taken, and that makes your journey unique and valuable.

7. Prioritize Internships

Internships provide real-world experience, help you build skills, and often make the difference in landing a job after graduation. Visit Career Services, polish your résumé, and apply early and often.

8. Adjust Your Study Habits

College-level studying requires more than memorization. You need to understand and retain material for your career. Try different methods like flashcards, rewriting notes, or group study sessions to see what works best for you.

9. Own Your Achievements

Don’t downplay how hard you’ve worked to get here. Balancing school, jobs, and responsibilities is not a small task. Be proud of your efforts and all you’re accomplishing!

10. Learn to Budget Early

Managing your money will reduce stress and allow you to enjoy your college experience. Explore meal planning, track your spending, and use resources like the financial aid office to stay on top of finances. Stay tuned for my next post, “Budgeting, Groceries, and Grown-Up Stuff: What No One Told Me About Adulting in College.”

Every day you walk past other students who may seem to be in the exact same situation as you. You’re all UNI students heading to class, trying to make friends, and figuring out life. But here’s the truth, not everyone’s journey looks the same. First generation data reveals that 54% of undergraduates in the U.S. are first-generation college students. At UNI in 2024, over a third of incoming freshmen were first-gen. That alone highlights an important reality that our campus is diverse in experiences, and that being a first-generation student isn’t a setback. It’s a strength.

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Challenges and Growth

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What the Data Says About First Generation Students

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Lessons & Advice for Other First-Gen Students

^{Photo by Stanley Morales}

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Check back next week for my next post: 10 College Tips For First Generation Students.