Going into this set, I had a joke that I loved personally but didn’t always sit right with this bar. I believe I can still tell it better and I’m still working on it.
HOWEVER. it’s based on a true story. The person I talk about is real, and the actions they do are real. The only thing I do is give them a different name so people don’t go looking for this guy.
Keith, My Favorite Co-Worker
Keith was this guy I used to work with at a restaurant. We were both line cooks, but Keith had been there way longer than me. I remember the first day I worked with Keith like the back of my hand.
While opening the back door to the restaurant that morning and I see this guy slicing meat. I call him Keith. Keith is this dude that’s a little bit taller than me, and a little bit bigger than me, and he’s black.
As soon as Keith looks up and sees me, he says, “Hello Massa,” and continues to go on his business.
I was speechless.
“Huh?”
I wasn’t ready for racism during my morning shift.
I wasn’t ready for the rest of the day as I walk into the kitchen that day and start washing my hands to do prep work.
Throughout that day, I would learn a lot more about the place that I work at.
Keith was the only African-American we had on staff and the only person of color for the kitchen staff.
Everyone else in the kitchen was white.
I learned throughout the day that Keith calls everyone “Massa.” Who knows what made him start it, but the shock factor just kind of made me laugh a little. I had no idea how to handle this situation, but everyone else in the kitchen treated it like normal.
Don’t ask Keith for too much.
Keith was handling sandwiches that day. The lady who was running the kitchen that day was giving out demands like usual.
Eventually, she asked for a lot from Keith, and this led Keith to rebel.
Keith proceeds to pull out his phone, turn it to max volume, and open Spotify. In Spotify, he has a playlist for:
Spiritual Music
His phone proceeds to play “Wade in the Water” and his phone would play this type of music for the rest of the shift.
This guy was crazy.
And I loved it. He knew exactly what he was doing, especially because he was studying political science. Keith had a lot more to him, he wasn’t always trying to make the staff pay reparations to him.
Keith had an easygoing attitude. I learned a lot from him such as:
“It’ll be done when it is done. Bitch.”
“Fuck you, I’ll work at my own pace.”
“Cade, you need to work faster.”
He understood that you can’t control everything in the kitchen. Every member of the staff had their own speed they could work at. This kept him relaxed and calm, especially in tough situations, and eventually I learned that too.
The kitchen is chaotic, and you can only control yourself.
Keith decided to add to the chaos by having every shift he was a part of be a reenactment of slave ownership.
Obviously, kitchen humor is dark and is the type of stuff you can really only share with close friends. But Keith was such an absurd person that I loved sharing this story with people. Just like me, they can’t believe that he is a real person.
Keith’s Final Straw
One day in the kitchen, Keith and I got in an argument. I don’t remember what it was about, but towards the end of it Keith asks me:
“Cade, how many black friends do you have?”
I think a little bit, count them all on one hand, and excitedly go say, “Four!”
Keith shakes his head a little bit, and walks away.
I went back to my line of work and started thinking about the question again.
For some reason, this question got really serious.
Did I only have four black friends? I think my count was off. I should go ask him.
“Hey Keith?”
“What Cade?”
“One of my friends is light skin. Does that make it 3 and half?”
This question makes no sense, but in my mind, this was a legitimate question as a 16-year-old. My friend had a half-black and half-white family, so how should I count him? I didn’t want to misrepresent him and have my number of black friends be overrated, at the time…
Keith looks at me, shakes his head, and goes “Cade that’s not how it works.”
The Stand-Up
So, going into this stand-up, I wanted to work on this joke.
And it started off not the greatest.
It could’ve been worse. I could’ve got booed off stage or have dead silence. I got a few snickers here and there.
But just as I was ending it, and ready to move on to a different joke, a man speaks up in the crowd.
“I’m not sensitive, I can take it.”
From the bathroom came this African-American man who had sat down during the middle of my set. He was there the whole night, but as I was announced, he got up for a break.
For a solid 5 seconds, I had to register what just happened, but the rest of the crowd in the bar loved what he had to say. And just as I was about to give up on this joke, I went into the rest of it.
The rest of my set became this back-and-forth between me and this guy who I have never met before. And eventually, I ended that set with a pretty big win because of just this single crowd member.
The Aftermath
I still need to improve this bit if I want to tell it. I firmly believe I can do better than what I did that night while retelling this story about Keith.
Shock factor cannot be the only reason that people laugh, in fact, half of the time, you get a silent crowd.
As I got off stage, the man from the crowd approached me. We had this quick conversation in the middle of the bar.
I believe his name was “Greg”. Greg said that he liked the joke and that people were looking at him to know if it was okay to laugh. He thought it was a little funny that people needed to be allowed to laugh.
After the open mic was done, we started talking more. Greg said that I should keep pushing the envelope on this joke. I believe he is right because it still needs improvement.
But I’ll eventually get to a point where I can tell this joke and everyone will laugh.
He liked the awkwardness that the joke created, which should be pushed a little further.
Greg also said two more things:
- Create a group of comedians as a joke committee
- We need to be able to test jokes out on each other
- There need to be cultural backgrounds too so we can tell what’s good or bad.
- Read this book
- Greg recommend a book by Kevin Hart
- I still have yet to purchase it, but I got my paycheck this week so I think I’ll buy it now
Obviously if Greg wasn’t there, that joke would have gone no where, but sometimes it takes the right crowd, or a single person, to elevate the humor of a joke.