I went to my monthly open mic this week with a bunch of new notes. My notes are stored mostly in my head, but I’m trying to do better at putting them on my phone. I have my bits categorized into several topics. I have jokes about my family, my workplace, myself, my friends, etc. Most of the jokes I make has a base of reality, but not everything is true.
An example:
There was a time in high school when I was talking to my friend Nate, he is a deeply devoted Christian. My mom had recently passed away so Nate does his best to cheer me up. Nate goes, “Cade, your mom passing away is just another hard battle for one of his strongest warriors.”
The next battle God gave me was explaining to the principal why Nate no longer had teeth.
Now I never hit Nate, but I wish I did. In that moment I told him that it wasn’t the greatest time to crack that type of joke, but a week later, I started thinking how funny the situation was.
Imagine already being down on your luck in life, and God intervenes to make it harder. That’s kinda bullshit, especially when I don’t care that much about God already. It was a really confusing time for me. I didn’t really know how to react to the passing of my mom. A lot of people at my school would ask me how I was feeling. The principal even pulled me out of class one time to check on me.
I’ve always been the type to joke about a shitty situation to try and cheer myself and my peers up.
Developing the Joke
My first thought was I just gained immunity to “Yo Mama” jokes. I remember I said a few to my friends in calculus and economics classes and would tell my friends to try and hit me back. It was a great interpersonal joke at the time, it was great to share an awkward coping laugh.
Eventually, I noticed a lot of my classmates would freak out over assignments and say something like, “Bro I’m gonna pass away.” or “Imma kill myself.”
I would give a quippy response like, “If you do die, can you say hi to my mom for me?” “Be careful, if you go to Hell you may have to talk to my mom.”
I love dark humor, so the 2nd one was my favorite. Gave me a lot of jaw-drop reactions. Not the greatest to pull out on stage though.
For stage use, I couldn’t really use the 2nd one on stage unless I got the audience involved and the 1st joke is like a 5-second sentence I would use to stall.
So I began telling the joke as a quick little story to try and have people laugh at the awkward situation as I did.
The First Uses
The initial response to this joke was great. People got a nice kick out of it, just like I did. It was great to share a funny situation like I did.
But after I did it a couple more times, it started waning in laughs. Obviously my shitty little ego didn’t like this. I want people to laugh at this and they weren’t? Why don’t they like it anymore?
The issue was, there wasn’t really a punchline to the joke. It was just a quick little story, something I would share at a campfire if my friends and I decided to do some catching up and reminiscing about the past.
The first laughs weren’t loud and heavy either. Even when I first tested it around my friends it got them to smile and look away, sometimes giggle out of embarrassment. This joke needed a better punchline if I wanted a loud reaction.
The Revision
I started thinking about this joke a lot more on my car rides. I wanted this joke to succeed especially because it felt close to home and I knew Nate would like it.
Thinking back on the conversation, about everything we said to each other that day. I can remember where we were in the school. How I walked up to Nate in our 5th-period study hall and just started talking. I just wanted to vent about my confusion. We kept having a serious conversation until the bell rang and everyone went to lunch. Once everyone left and we were getting ready to leave, Nate decided to remind me about being a warrior for God.
Goddamn, I really wanted to hit him. Punch right in his stupid ass face. This Abraham Lincoln mother fucker said God did this. Bitch I told you I’m an atheist, and why would God do something so fucking awful?
Nate was lucky that we were in school and that I’m a kind person. I can’t express how badly I wanted to just slap him in the face and walk away. But I was afraid to get a detention and I knew he’d fight back if I provoked him so I just said, “Nate, now is not the time for that…”
Remembering how I felt, I changed the joke. Instead, I wanted to express how badly I wanted to just throw a jab at this guy. I knew if I started a fight too, I would go to the principal.
So now my punchline was about a situation I imagined would’ve happened if I popped Nate in the face.
The Response
I remember going to the open mic that night ready to share this joke again. I really liked the revision, and I was hoping everyone else did too. The bar that night was full. People were already giggling asI began talking about Nate
I dropped the punchline, and the whole bar erupted. It got really loud, like loud enough to kind of hurt my hearing. I was stunned and couldn’t remember my next lines and threw out some shitty joke at the moment.
I do believe that the size of the crowd affects the reactions, but I never expected to have that much of a reaction. After I got done with my 5 minutes, I walked off stage and started talking with one of the comedians about my surprise.
He said I should’ve leaned into it a little bit, and chastise the crowd for being so supportive of violence.
Damn he was right, I’d save it for next time.
But that was also the last time I’ve said that joke, so maybe I should use it sometime soon so Nate can be reminded about his dumbass comment.
The Recent Open Mic
I went to The Octopus’s open mic on September 18th this year. There was a bit of new content I ran through and then forgot the last new joke that I had written and went to an old one.
I like to joke about my mom haunting my house. The lights in the basement like to flicker, and I haven’t changed for years because I’m too lazy.
So while working out in this dark and dirty basement of my house, I would sometimes joke around with the lights.
I remember one time, it was giving accurate and quick responses to yes/no questions.
It evolved to me jokingly thinking that it was my mom because she was always watching these paranormal activity shows when she was alive. So I assumed she took inspiration from these shows and became a ghost because of it.
So then it goes me describing something stupid like:
“Mom is that you?” and I’ll hold a fist up, flash it open, and say yes at the same time to indicate her “ghostly” response.
“Mom are you racist?” and I do the same thing as before.
“Am I racist?” then I hold my fist up, stay silent, wait for it to get awkward, and then move on like nothing happened.
In this stand-up, I was going through my bits too fast, so when I was retelling this joke, I skipped over some details. I knew the punchline wasn’t going to be the greatest and that I was going to end on this joke anyway.
While I was on stage, I thought about how holding the fist up was essentially a symbol for the Black Lives Matter movement. If my mom was racist, she wouldn’t support the BLM movement. So what if I did something to defy her?
Final Thoughts
I wasn’t sure at all if I should do this joke, but I wasn’t having a great set, so I went for it anyway. It ended up being my best joke that set.
While I liked the laughs I got, I didn’t really like the joke. So I think from now on I’m going to stick to my normal delivery and keep this as a mix-up.
I got off the stage and one of the comedians who usually gave advice said he loved it. And then he said I should lean into my racism a little bit more.
Great… That’s exactly what I wanted to hear. A white guy should be more racist on stage…
Read how I started comedy here: