3 Things I Wish My Mom Would’ve Done Differently

Want advice from a 21 year old daughter? Here are some things I wish my mom had done differently when raising me.

As you moms may know, parenting is not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. There is no book to turn to that will give you the magic answer when times get tough. Instead, it is up to your own judgement to handle situations and problems the way you think is right. mom advice

And there is no right or wrong way, you moms are doing the best you can.

As a 21 year old daughter, I may not be qualified to give you parenting advice. But one thing I can give you is daughter advice. Throughout my 21 years of experience on being a daughter, here is my take.

Be quick to listen and slow to respond.

I wish my mom would have just listened to my problems without coming up with a quick response. There are two responses in particular that I absolutely dreaded hearing.

The “trying to solve the problem response” and “playing the devils advocate response”.

Daughter listening to mom advice

There were times when I wanted to talk about problems happening in my life with my mom and I immediately got advice from her on how to fix it. Because that’s what moms do right? They are there to help you solve your problems. But sometimes your kids might not be looking for advice and just want someone to vent to.

There were few times where I actually appreciated hearing what my mom had to say from the devils advocate perspective. Because let’s face it, who wants to hear someone tell you you’re wrong? And although it can be a great learning opportunity for your child, it can also make them upset. It’s sometimes frustrating as a child to explain something to your parents and have them tell you where you’re wrong. My tip to parents – don’t give your input unless it’s asked for. Be that person your child can confide in when it gets hard.

Cultivate a hobby outside of being a parent. mom advice

I wish my mom had more fun when I was younger. As a parent, I know it can be hard to find time outside of raising kids to find a hobby or something that interests you. But it’s important to make time for yourself and find what you like to do.

Some mom advice is to find hobbies

21 years later, my siblings and I are all moved out of the house. My mom has realized that she doesn’t even know what she likes to do. She has sacrificed all of the fun times when I was growing up and never chased what interested her. Along with that, she never spent money on herself to buy things that she liked. Looking back, from a child’s perspective, it hurts to see the sacrifices she made. I wish she would’ve invested a little more time and money in herself. It is okay to be a little selfish from time to time. When you are happier, your family is happier.

Here are some ideas of some hobbies that might interest you!

Expect more help from your significant other.

I wish my mom would have asked for more help from my dad. My dad is an amazing father and did a great job raising four girls. But there was a clear difference in the amount of work that my dad contributed compared to my mom. And I wouldn’t be crazy to say that that’s how it is for most households out there.

Some mom advice is for your significant other to help out.

My mom was the only one that cleaned the house. She was the one to stay home and take care of us when one of us got sick. She got up at 5am every morning to wash and fold laundry. My mom never took time to do something she liked while my dad occasionally took weekend hunting and fishing trips with his friends.

There are so many things in life that just get put on a mom’s plate. As a daughter, I wish I didn’t have to watch my mom work so hard. I wish she would have expected more from my dad.

If you liked reading my take on daughter advice, comment down below if you would like a part two!

If you’re new here, make sure to check out my last blog post here.

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5 Comments

  1. Lisamarie

    I love this post so much! It’s a breathe of fresh air to see a post of what a child would like to have seen from a parent! What a unique and inspiring prospective

  2. Cassie

    I know that my childhood reflections were different after becoming a mom. It’s hard not to compare my experience/ perspective against what I’m doing with my child. I particularly appreciate what you said about help from mom’s partner and her enjoying her life as an individual more. I believe in that so much. What a great time of opportunity, discovery and adventure your mom has now. Please tell her to go for it!

    ~ Cassie

  3. Nafisa

    I’m not a mom, but the idea of not having a hobby outside your children is just surprisedly to me like what happen when they grow up and I love seeing parent living beyond being a parent

  4. Baby Boomer Super Saver

    A very thoughtful reflection – I hope you and your mom can do something fun together sometime soon. When my daughter was young, I had to really stop myself from trying to solve all her problems. Of course it’s important for our children to figure things out for themselves so they can grow. As a parent, we still want to protect our children, though. Such a delicate balance!

  5. Caroline

    This was so interesting to read! I have never really thought about it before, but of course, the child’s perspective is important too.

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